If you pour peanuts in a bowl
Or in a teacup just for show,
Watch beside you, watch behind--
The Peanut Pincher's sure to find
Your chewy treasures round and rare
As you sit, munching, in your chair.
Just when you look the other way
Or your attention starts to stray,
That's the Peanut Pincher's cue
To try to filch a nut from you.
(And there is no way to make him keep
Away from peanuts in a heap.)
The Peanut Pincher then will come
Shaped like the forefinger and thumb
Of someone on whose lap you sit
And one you don't suspect a bit.
( I know of this from evenings past--
And know these P.P.'s can be fast.)
Remember just the other day
When you and I were tired of play
And wanted just a little snack?
There, in the cupboard, from a sack
We scooped the nuts that we would eat
And nonchalantly took our seat.
Before you knew it--10, 9, 8--
They disappeared from off our plate,
And, then there went--Oh Lands Alive!--
Our numbers 7, 6, and 5.
Four, 3, 2, and 1--they just
Kept going till they bit the dust.
With nothing left to crunch or munch,
We opted just to get some lunch.
We got out cheese and bread and meat,
And mustard made our stack complete.
You held your sandwich tight, and cheese
Oozed out the edges when you'd squeeze.
I knew what you had on your mind:
You were afraid of who might find
Your dinner there and snatch a bite,
And that would surely start a fight
'Cause you had stood for quite enough
Of Peanut Pincher's sneaky stuff.
I said, "Relax, I think he's gone.
He's probably out there on the lawn.
I doubt that he will soon be back
To swipe a kiddo's lunch or snack."
I looked at you, then looked away
And smiled at what I'd done that day.
I licked my lips; I tasted salt--
That was the Peanut Pincher's fault.