Mr. Bumpy Man

One night, over the Memorial Day weekend just past, I was tucking Sooby and Pooh in for the night when Sooby began to knock on the wall by her bed.  "Don't bump," I said.  I was afraid she would wake her little sister, who was already asleep in the adjoining room.  "The noise might scare her," I explained, to which Pooh replied, "Yeah.  She might think Mr. Bumpy Man is coming."

And so, "Mr. Bumpy Man" has been incubating in my head for a couple days now.  I figured it would hatch as a children's verse, but was worried that it might come out scary.  After all, I remember quite well some scary nights from my own childhood, when I was convinced a witch was living in my bedroom closet.  So the poem turns out with a repeated, empowering line that I hope gives kids a little courage when they hear those things that go bump in the night.

          Mr. Bumpy Man

Mr. Bumpy Man, Mr. Bumpy Man,
I hear your bumpy, thumpy hand
Tap on my wall and windows, and
You don't scare me at all.

Sometimes at night when there's no light
You try to give me quite a fright
First on my left, then on my right--
But you don't scare me at all.

Mr. Bumpy Man, with your wild red hair,
I hear you clumping up my stair,
But let me tell you, "I don't care!"
You don't scare me at all.

Mr. Bumpy Man, you're a jumpy man.
You hop atop my ceiling fan
And rattle everything you can,
But you don't scare me at all.

Mr. Bumpy Man, all night, all day
You try in every thumpy way
To scare me, but I have to say,
"You don't scare me at all!"

Mr. Bumpy Man, if you should steal
Into my room to make me feel
Afraid, I'll know that YOU'RE NOT REAL!
And you won't scare me at all.