On the Verge

I was not ready for this birthday. It might as well have crept up behind me and thrown a gunny sack over my head. Although I am usually more than excited for birthdays, this one totally blind-sided me.

I don't mean my own birthday, the one that came a month ago today and pushed me a notch closer to that next big decade. I mean the one that sneaked up yesterday and hammered me like a hurricane. Yesterday was the twelfth birthday of my first grandchild, the original Googie-maker. And as candles flickered atop a cheesecake in Kansas--and Sooby shopped for the first earrings for her newly pierced ears--I was here in Missouri thinking about her standing there on the threshold of her teens.

I don't know how to do this. With the six grandkids coming in a space of six years, I am used to thinking of "kid" things for us to make and eat and play and do. Now that one of those children is a beautiful young lady, I am anticipating the first major change in our dynamic. The teens open up territory I have not explored in a while. My step feels a little uncertain here.

The photo above shows Sooby a week ago tonight with her bag of early birthday presents from Pa-pa and me. Since her brother's birthday falls five days before hers, we often celebrate the two of them in one trip. Still, I have saved a few thoughts and wishes to share with her tonight.

Happy birthday, Sooby-Soo. Just last weekend your cousins and I were looking at a digicam video I took of you, Pooh, and Bootsie when you were not yet four. You were lying on the floor, giggling, with an orange bristle block on your belly button. I barely blink, and here you are today with a pretty new orange dress, a sweet smile, and--always--those gorgeous blue eyes. Where did those eight years go?

Pa-pa and I are certainly proud of you for your achievements in school, music, and 4-H, but the thing that touches us most is your kind heart, your thoughtfulness toward others, and your wish to do what is good and right. I used to cringe when you were always wanting to help in the kitchen, but now I welcome that help. You bake great desserts and can cook up a mean griddle full of bacon and pancakes. I imagine that is something that will just keep getting better as you check off those teen years.

As the oldest, you will be the one who blazes the teen trail just ahead of your siblings and cousins. When your new little brother arrives in a few months, you will be a great help for your mama and an able caregiver for him.

And, if the cause is not hopeless, you may be able to re-train me to interact appropriately with a teenager. I can't help thinking we are on the verge of a great new adventure. We have a year to figure that one out, and I'm betting we will be okay.